Revision Analysis of My Exploratory Essay
The first revision that I made from my down draft to my final exploratory essay was to change "you and your" to "I and my" to give a more personal experience portrayed within the first paragraph. As you can see the following changes were made from "It is late at night, you have brushed your teeth, put your pajamas on, and slid into your bed, so happily and ready for a good nights rest." to "It is late at night, I have brushed my teeth, put my pajamas on, and slid into my bed, so happily and ready for a good nights rest." This is just an example of the changes made from the first sentence, but I did change the work throughout. During peer reviewed we discussed me making these changes to give the reader more of a personal feel from me as the author.
The next revision I made was adding a personal story of my dreams explained. This section can be found under the paragraph labeled So what do death dreams mean and what is the significance? In this section, I talk about a reoccurring dream I often have, and I continue on to explain the meaning and why I have this dream that reoccurs so much. During peer review my group made the comment that my paper had a lot of research and facts, but that they would like to see more personal stories. I also added another personal dream story under the subheading Childhood fears make unwanted adult nightmares. Again here I explain a personal experience to give the reader more to relate too, and then I explain the meaning and reasoning behind the dream.
Finally, another main revision that I made was to fix my in text citations. Previously in my down draft I had included the period before the in text citation, but during peer reviewed I learned that the period comes after the parenthesis. I went through and fixed all of these mistakes as a revision to this essay. This is just another example of how peer review has helped me throughout the semester.
The first revision that I made from my down draft to my final exploratory essay was to change "you and your" to "I and my" to give a more personal experience portrayed within the first paragraph. As you can see the following changes were made from "It is late at night, you have brushed your teeth, put your pajamas on, and slid into your bed, so happily and ready for a good nights rest." to "It is late at night, I have brushed my teeth, put my pajamas on, and slid into my bed, so happily and ready for a good nights rest." This is just an example of the changes made from the first sentence, but I did change the work throughout. During peer reviewed we discussed me making these changes to give the reader more of a personal feel from me as the author.
The next revision I made was adding a personal story of my dreams explained. This section can be found under the paragraph labeled So what do death dreams mean and what is the significance? In this section, I talk about a reoccurring dream I often have, and I continue on to explain the meaning and why I have this dream that reoccurs so much. During peer review my group made the comment that my paper had a lot of research and facts, but that they would like to see more personal stories. I also added another personal dream story under the subheading Childhood fears make unwanted adult nightmares. Again here I explain a personal experience to give the reader more to relate too, and then I explain the meaning and reasoning behind the dream.
Finally, another main revision that I made was to fix my in text citations. Previously in my down draft I had included the period before the in text citation, but during peer reviewed I learned that the period comes after the parenthesis. I went through and fixed all of these mistakes as a revision to this essay. This is just another example of how peer review has helped me throughout the semester.